Many deaf and hard of hearing people say the hardest part is not the hearing loss itself. It is being left out: of conversations at dinner, of announcements at church, of jokes everyone else laughs at. People talk past them, or give up and say, "Never mind." It can feel lonely, and it can hurt. Most of us have done that without meaning to.
There is a story about how Jesus met a deaf man.
Away from the crowd
Jesus was traveling near the Sea of Galilee, a large lake in the north of the country. People brought him a man who was deaf and could hardly speak, and begged him to put his hand on him.
The Gospel of Mark, one of the four accounts of Jesus's life, records what Jesus did first.
And he took him aside from the multitude, and put his fingers into his ears, and he spit, and touched his tongue;
Mark 7:33 · King James VersionThe original Greek
καὶ ἀπολαβόμενος αὐτὸν ἀπὸ τοῦ ὄχλου κατʼ ἰδίαν ἔβαλεν τοὺς δακτύλους αὐτοῦ εἰς τὰ ὦτα αὐτοῦ καὶ πτύσας ἥψατο τῆς γλώσσης αὐτοῦ,
Found in Codex Vaticanus (about AD 325), Codex Sinaiticus (about AD 350).
He did not treat the man as a show for the crowd. He took him aside, where it was quiet. He used touch, things the man could feel and see, to show him what he was about to do. Then Jesus looked up to heaven, sighed, and said "Ephphatha," which means "Be opened," and the man could hear and speak.
We cannot heal like that. But the first part, any of us can do. Jesus met the man in a way he could understand.
Ways to include them
Ask how they communicate. Some use sign language, some read lips, some use hearing aids or cochlear implants, some prefer writing. Ask, and respect their answer.
Face them when you speak. Do not cover your mouth, turn away, or talk while walking ahead.
Get their attention first. A gentle wave or a tap on the shoulder is usually fine.
Do not say "never mind." If they miss something, repeat it, rephrase it, or write it down.
Use captions. Turn them on for videos at church, in meetings and at home.
Ask your church about interpreters. A sign language interpreter or live captions for services can open the door to a whole community.
Learn some sign language. Even a few signs, like "hello," "thank you" and "friend," show you care.
Choose quieter places. Background noise makes hearing aids and lip reading much harder.
Room at the table
Jesus took the deaf man aside so he could meet him in a way he understood. You can do the same, in small ways, every time you talk with someone who does not hear well. They should never have to be left out.