Surgery is only the beginning. Afterward come days or weeks of pain, weakness and not being able to do ordinary things: lift a pan, drive a car, climb stairs, bathe a child. Most help arrives in the first few days and then stops, right when people get tired of asking. Many of us have meant to check on someone after their surgery and forgotten.
Jesus told a story that shows what help over time looks like.
The second day
In Jesus's story of the Good Samaritan, a man was beaten by robbers and left half dead by the road. Two religious men walked past. Then a Samaritan, a man from the region next door, whose people and Jesus's listeners had a long quarrel, stopped. He bandaged the man's wounds, put him on his own animal, took him to an inn and cared for him through the night.
But the story does not end that night. The Gospel of Luke, one of the four accounts of Jesus's life, tells us what the Samaritan did the next morning.
And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.
Luke 10:35 · King James VersionThe original Greek
καὶ ἐπὶ τὴν αὔριον ἐκβαλὼν δύο δηνάρια ἔδωκεν τῷ πανδοχεῖ καὶ εἶπεν· Ἐπιμελήθητι αὐτοῦ, καὶ ὅ τι ἂν προσδαπανήσῃς ἐγὼ ἐν τῷ ἐπανέρχεσθαί με ἀποδώσω σοι.
Found in Papyrus 75 (about AD 200), Codex Vaticanus (about AD 325), Codex Sinaiticus (about AD 350).
The words "when he departed" appear in later copies, not in the oldest ones.
He paid for more care. He made sure someone would keep looking after the man. And he promised to come back.
That is what good help after surgery looks like. Not only the first day. The days after.
Ways to help
Set up a meal schedule. Spread meals out over two or three weeks, not all in the first few days. Ask about diet limits.
Drive them. To follow-up appointments, physical therapy, or the pharmacy. They may not be allowed to drive for weeks.
Do the heavy chores. Laundry, groceries, trash, vacuuming, yard work, anything that means lifting or bending.
Help with pets and kids. Walk the dog, feed the cat, or take the children for an afternoon.
Pick up prescriptions. And help keep track of when to take them, if they want that.
Visit, but keep it short. Company helps, but rest helps more. Call first.
Check in after the first week. That is when most help stops and recovery can feel long and lonely.
Come back
The Samaritan said he would come back, and that promise mattered. If you know someone recovering from surgery, you can be the one who keeps coming back. A text in week three saying "What do you need this week?" can mean the most of all.