Someone hurt you. Maybe they said sorry. Maybe they did it again. And now you are tired, and you want to know when you are allowed to be done.
One of Jesus's closest friends had the same question.
Peter's question
Peter was a fisherman who left his boat to follow Jesus. He was the kind of man who said what he was thinking. One day he came to Jesus and asked how many times he had to forgive someone who kept doing wrong to him.
Then he offered a number himself. Seven times. That was generous. Most people stop much sooner.
Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
Matthew 18:22 · King James VersionThe original Greek
λέγει αὐτῷ ὁ Ἰησοῦς· Οὐ λέγω σοι ἕως ἑπτάκις ἀλλὰ ἕως ἑβδομηκοντάκις ἑπτά.
Found in Codex Vaticanus (about AD 325), Codex Sinaiticus (about AD 350).
Seventy times seven is 490. But Jesus was not asking Peter to keep a list and stop at 491. Nobody can count that high in a friendship. That was the point. He meant you stop counting.
Why he said it
Right after that, Jesus told a story. A servant owed his king more money than he could ever pay back. The king forgave all of it. Then that same servant went out, found a man who owed him a little, and grabbed him by the throat to make him pay.
The story is about how much we have been forgiven. When we see that, the small debts other people owe us start to look different.
What forgiving does not mean
Forgiving is not pretending it did not hurt. It is not saying the wrong thing was okay. And it does not mean you have to stay in a place where you keep getting hurt.
You can forgive someone and still keep a safe distance. You can forgive someone and still tell the truth about what they did.
What Jesus asked Peter to give up was the count. The list of every wrong, kept ready to read out loud. If you are carrying a list like that, you are allowed to set it down. That is not losing. It is getting your hands back.